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Is There a 'Right' Length for an Engagement?

Ethan Ward
Written by Ethan Ward
10 Dec 2025 dot 5 min read

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Short answer? No. Long answer? Still no—but with a bit more nuance and fewer raised eyebrows from well-meaning relatives.

There’s no universal “right” length for an engagement. What feels calm and exciting for one couple might feel rushed or interminable for another. Some people are happily married within six months of proposing; others take a few years to plan things at a pace that suits real life.

An engagement isn’t a stopwatch—it’s a season. And like most good things, it works best when it fits you, not an imaginary standard.

How long is the average engagement?

In the UK, the average engagement lasts around 12–18 months. That’s often long enough to plan a wedding without panic-booking a village hall or arguing over napkin colours at midnight.

That said, averages are about as useful as “average shoe size”. Your ideal timeline depends on far more personal factors:

  • Your budget and how you’re funding the wedding
  • Work, study, or relocation plans
  • Stress tolerance (be honest here)
  • How much you actually enjoy planning

If you’re still deciding when—or how—you want to propose, our guide on how to know when to propose is a helpful place to start.

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What are the pros and cons of a short engagement?

A short engagement usually means getting married within 6–12 months. It’s brisk, focused, and not for the faint-hearted.

Pros of a short engagement

  • Less time to overthink Fewer months means fewer spirals about chair covers.
  • Decisions happen faster You’re decisive because you have to be.
  • Momentum stays high The excitement of the proposal rolls straight into planning.
  • Often smaller, more intimate weddings Which many couples quietly prefer.

Cons of a short engagement

  • Limited availability Popular venues and photographers book far in advance.
  • More pressure Deadlines arrive whether you’re ready or not.
  • Potentially higher costs Last-minute bookings can push prices up.
  • Less flexibility Fewer chances to change your mind.

If you’re also sorting the ring during this timeframe, our practical guide to buying an engagement ring on a budget can save you both time and stress.

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How do you manage a short engagement without stressing?

Organisation is your best friend here.

Start with the big, immovable pieces: venue, registrar, photographer. Be open to weekday weddings or off-season dates. Simpler décor, ready-to-wear outfits, and a shorter guest list can all make things smoother.

Most importantly, remember the point of the exercise: you’re getting married, not launching a space shuttle.

What are the pros and cons of a long engagement?

A long engagement—typically two years or more—offers breathing room and flexibility.

Pros of a long engagement

  • Time to plan thoughtfully You can research, visit venues, and sleep on decisions.
  • Budget flexibility Costs are easier to spread out.
  • Lower pressure Planning doesn’t have to dominate your life.
  • Room for change Plans can evolve as life does.

Cons of a long engagement

  • Decision fatigue Too much time can lead to second-guessing.
  • Momentum dips Planning can start to feel endless.
  • Life gets in the way Moves, job changes, or family commitments may complicate things.
  • More opinions The longer the timeline, the more “helpful suggestions” appear.

How do you stay motivated during a long engagement?

Break planning into manageable phases and set gentle deadlines. Celebrate milestones—booking the venue, choosing rings, sending save-the-dates—and then take proper breaks.

Protect time that has nothing to do with weddings. Date nights matter more than colour schemes.

If you’re choosing a ring together during a longer engagement, it’s reassuring to know that picking your own engagement ring isn’t weird at all —it’s increasingly common and often leads to a ring that genuinely suits you.

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How do you choose the right engagement length for you?

Instead of asking what’s “normal”, ask what’s realistic.

  • Do we thrive under pressure—or crumble politely?
  • What can we comfortably afford?
  • What else is happening in our lives soon?
  • How much planning do we actually want to do?

There’s no prize for finishing fastest or longest. The goal is to enjoy this chapter, not endure it.

The bottom line: how long should an engagement last?

As long—or as short—as you want it to.

Your engagement is a celebration of commitment, not a deadline set by tradition, social media, or well-meaning aunties. Choose a timeline that fits your relationship, your lives, and your sanity.

Everything else is just details.

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FAQs

How long is it normal to be engaged for?

The average engagement length is around 12 to 18 months, but there’s no strict rule. What’s most important is choosing a timeline that feels right for you and your partner.

Is 5 years too long for an engagement?

A 5-year engagement can be long, but it depends on your circumstances and what you both want. As long as you’re both happy and aligned on the timeline, it’s perfectly okay.

Is getting engaged after 2 years too soon?

Not at all! Many couples get engaged after two years; it’s all about feeling ready and confident in your relationship.

How long should you be together before getting engaged?

There’s no set rule, but many couples wait between 1 to 3 years before getting engaged. It’s best to take the time you need to truly know each other.

What do I call my girlfriend when we are engaged?

Once you’re engaged, you can call her your fiancée. It’s a special title that signifies this new stage in your relationship!

Ethan Ward

About the author

Ethan Ward

Co-founder

Ethan looks after the whole Boutee journey from first click to “yes”, making sure every person is matched with the right independent jeweller and never feels lost along the way. He’s also the champion of our maker community, keeping things friendly, fair and human on both sides.

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